Hello and welcome to my website!
I was born in Cheltenham in a caravan to a mother who did not really want me a father who was Irish and was not married to my mother because he was married to someone else, this is where my gift was born out of shear poverty and lack of love. My first recognition of having being different was when a baby was born in the caravan I somehow knew he would not be there long, I was right he was put up for adoption. Around 4 years old my father who came and went, he worked on the motorways, asked me if I wanted to be a Catholic, I did not know what this meant but because everyone else on the caravan site was going to the local village school I had a choice I could go to a Catholic school in Cheltenham Town or the village school I chose to be a Catholic it sounded different and it meant I had to be baptised. Like all good Catholic girls I went to church on Sundays, took my holy communion, did the confessions but something inside niggled at me if God could hear me I could hear god the nuns were not amused when I said this and at 5 years old had to shut down my feelings so invented the little people they would come and tell me things, this led me into trouble because I would say things and people would say what a wonderful imagination, then learnt to say that someone had told me something that had not happened yet and I got into more trouble for telling lies, I could not win anyway. At 7 years old between the caravan site and the bungalow was a field full of wild flowers I loved this field. I went there looking for the rest of the kids from the site, it all went very quiet and eerie I was suddenly surrounded by a rainbow and for the first time felt peace but scared out of my mind so ran back to the caravan, as usual it was empty but at least sanctuary and I put it all behind me not telling a soul I had learnt not to say anything.
At the bottom of the site was an old house with and old lady in it and opposite, in a barn, lived two tramps Dick and Bert. If the old lady was in a good mood we could cross her land to go to the village, if she was in a bad mood she would run out with a wood axe. One day she went missing and my father and mother were talking about it, I said "no I saw her just now sat on the sty she waved to me and smiled so she was in a good mood, she then walked to the well". My dad said she had been missing for at least 2 days so I could not have seen her, Oh well another lie or just imagination. Then, I can't remember how long time lapsed but my dad said they found the old lady in the well, that was the first time my dad ever talked about how a gypsy had told him when he was young that he would have a very special daughter with a gift and he would die at 60 well he did die at 60 and I have a gift. After that I shut it out, until one day when I was around 9 years old I was not at school, as usual, and on my own I was laid on the bed and suddenly saw myself on the ceiling and someone talking to me I remember being scared and forcing myself to believe it was just my imagination.
I grew up and got married at 19 to get away from the home and had a daughter, then had a son who died a cot death but I knew he was not mine, I do not know to this day why I knew but I knew. He was 4 weeks old he died exactly to the day a year after my father had died, at least dad was not on his own. I wanted him to have a funeral but mum had gone down to the local Catholic Church and the priest said because he was not baptised he could not be bought into the Church, I went absolutely insane how can a baby of 4 weeks old have a sin, and how can a man born to breath the same air as me say I could not take the body of my son into a building that was supposed to be GODS home, something that was rammed down my throat at school for so long. Anyway the priest came to the crematorium and performed a service as usual reminding me that he had buried a 11 year old girl the week before, is this religion? That was when all the catholic upbringing went straight out of the window, no more guilt of eating an Opal fruit during lent, no more feeling in fear of God I was free although I did not know it at the time.
Just before I had my baby girl I went to a fortune teller in Cheltenham, I was scared stiff but she said that I would have a hard time but a lucky one but most of all Miss Morris said that I could do it better than she could because I have the gift, something a gypsy had said when I was young. So after Ryan, my son, died I wanted to do some fund raising and as I cannot cook or sew I thought I could do some Fortune Telling so I charged 10p at a coffee morning and was amazed when people were saying how did you know that was my grandfather's, brother's, mother's name. Then was asked to do a fate at the local school, I dressed up as a gypsy with a tin foil crystal ball and the gold ear rings, at first I just sat there doing nothing then a teacher said I will pay you 50p it goes to the school anyway, he sat down I went into Fortune Telling mode using my crystal tin ball Then all of a sudden he looked shocked, he said how did you know that, who told you that? I said no one, I just know. He then went and got a lot of people to come and see me I had a queue, to this day I don't know how I knew what to say, I still don't know and maybe I won't know until I die. My first bad experience was at a Tupperware party, it was round a friends house and as usual someone asked me to do my party piece, Fortune Telling I went round the room we all had a laugh then there was one girl who I kept avoiding she was 22 and pregnant I did not know why I did not want to "do her" but she insisted I looked at her hand and saw nothing she asked me what the baby's sex was, I could not tell her only to drive carefully her husband came in the room she told him to show me his hand all I said was look after her and left it. 6 weeks later my friend rang and said never ever do Fortune Telling in front of me again the girl died in a car crash, after that I shut "the gift or curse away" until I needed the money but that's another story. I think I was born to be a Fortune Teller.